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- i heard, like, a little--someone's off on the "ass worship and fart." then "here comes bob and his balls." - ♪ here comes bob and his balls ♪ - oops, sorry. - oh, finally, "bruised ass." - "bruised ass." - ♪ bruised a-a-a-a-ass - i like "slut" on the downbeat of the end. ♪ that canadi-a-a-an slut make "tasting" the pickup? - yeah. - ♪ tasting the sweet ass juice ♪ - that's quicker. - all right, that's it for the ben show. follow me on twitter. like us on facebook. go to our webpage. while you're there, check out this week's contest. a lot of confusion on last week's contest. we're looking for guys named michael who can't get chicks, not the actor michael chiklis. [knock on door] sounds like my blind date is here. hi, you're brittany? - i am. - hi. ben. - hi, nice to meet you. - nice to meet you. you're my blind date tonight? - yes. - and i heard you're a playboy playmate. - yep. - that's awesome. i've been getting ready all day. i got rims for my car. i got my butthole waxed. talked to my dad about diseases and stuff. we're cool with that. and i went to the gym.
not with everyone. bob wilson of arlington. >> texas cannot is secede from e united states because they need ceded anything to the united states at all. >> apparently a clerical error in the annexation agreement of 1845 proves texas never legally joined the union and bob's mail order documents are officially detailed and extremely well laminated. >> let me get this straight. i'm in a foreign land? >> yes. >> seriously i'm not just talking to a delusional old dude outside of dallas, texas? >> the republic of texas has a full government. i bob wilson and a senator from district 8. >> you are a senator? >> yes. >> awesome. i'm a lieutenant in the kiss army. could this make believe nation be the new land lynn and larry were looking for. >> i would love them to be biblical law counties. >> you want a place where people can worship freely as christians. >> yes ma'am. guns we can't even have the bullets we want. >> you can own any kind of gun you want. >> texas isn't allowed to execute folks that rape people. >> can we kill rapists? please say yes, please say yes. >> if found guilty, yes. definitely. >>
' physicals. oh, hells bells, bob-o. if you wanna fire me, just do it. i would, but even though this room was quite crowded when you sucker-punched me, apparently nobody saw it happen. [chuckles] uh, saw what happen, sir? [squeaking] so, dr. cox, can you, uh, look at her chart? newbie, did you not see what just happened? kelso is so far up my ass that i can taste brill cream in the back of my throat, and, you, you're-- you're a third-year now. wake up. this whole "dr. cox riding in to the rescue" part of the show is over. [pager beeping] no, you're on your own. j.d.: elliot's unlucky streak continued with the head of the radiology department. dr. moyer, uh, you told me my patient had colitis, and it turns out it was just traveler's diarrhea. so? that sounds like good news. yeah. he took it as bad news, maybe 'cause of the unnecessary colonoscope i shoved 3 feet up his pooper? what do you want me to do? uh, a-apologize to my patient and tell him it was your mistake, no big deal? think i'm gonna pass on that one. see, i got you pegged as one of those spineless types that's not gonna cause m
war. >> the obama white house is engaged in a war of words with "washington post" reporter bob woodward over the origin of the spending cuts. >> jon: oh, a war of words as long as one of those words isn't drone, really that's the kind of war you can get into with this administration. why would you word war with a ledge gend dairy word warrior like woodward? [cheers and applause] [laughter] hairball. [ laughter ] woodward, of course is the hand some redford half of woodward and bern styne. it goes back when he said the white house moved the goal post on the current sequester proceedings by suggesting tax increases inlew of cuts. the republicans agreed to spending cuts. a fair accounting of overall debt would allow them -- so the notion that obama was moving the goal post was less accurate that -- sorry. wanted to wake you guys back up. [laughter] apologize. [cheers and applause] that's actually as far as we got even writing frankly. it was -- [snoring] [laughter] it was after that article that woodward received a rather curious e-mail. >> and it was said to me in an e-mail by a
Search Results 0 to 8 of about 9 (some duplicates have been removed)